This Is a Country and It Is Vast

To Canadian readers: what follows may at times be uncomfortably patronizing. My apologies for this, but it is an unfortunate element of the Americo-Canadian relationship. This short essay is an attempt to view Canada differently, as a country, and the American attitudes towards our oft-mocked neighbors.

When I lived in England, my sense of distance was horribly skewed from the local norms. I never understood why my classmates complained about going home for a weekend visit; they lived only two or three hours away from Nottingham. No one I knew lived even half as far as Gustavus is from Chicago, and Minnesota is fairly close to Illinois by American standards.

That was when the immensity of America’s sprawl worked its way to my core. We have been blessed (through numerous wars, shrewd land deals and broken treaties, as well as a fair amount of hubris) with a nation that makes the great states of Europe look miniscule: Great Britain is the same size as Illinois and Wisconsin combined.

The density of Britain also made an impression, because Illinois’ total population of 13 million is equal to London’s metro area. While Chicago’s metro makes up the vast majority the state’s population, England has an additional 37 million people crammed into an area 7,000 square miles smaller!

So, yes, my sense of perspective has been defined by my native country, and I will never fully lose my sense of claustrophobia in Old Europe (not that I do not enjoy that feeling). However, this American has been schooled by Canada. If I thought America was immense, this place is Brobdingnagian*.

Here is an example: I live an hour and a half from the US. If I were to drive 1000 miles south, I would be in South Carolina. If I were to drive 1000 miles north, I would, well, I would be in Québec, if I could drive 1000 miles, but the country is so vast that no one has ever built a road up there.

Here is another: If you leave from the Montana border with Canada and drive to the northern border of Alberta, you will have covered a distance nearly as great as driving from the border with Canada to the border with Mexico. However, you will only be halfway to the northern coast of Canada, deep in the middle of the vast boreal forests.

The realization that Canada dwarfs the US is just one of many ways in which this neighbor to our north is becoming a real place to me. I am not one to belittle foreign countries, but how many Americans follow with rapt attention the political machinations of Stephen Harper or the misfortunes of that lovable goof, Michael Ignatieff? The grand total could dance on the head of a pin, without disrupting the chorus line of angels.

I have realized in the three months since arriving that Canada, as much as I have loved the idea of this country for most of my life, has never really been more than the butt of jokes. That is harsh condemnation, and overstated, but therein lies more truth than I would have admitted in July. Have you heard the one about how they named Canada, eh? But have you heard about the Battle of Vimy Ridge?

Canada is a real nation, with a culture similar to, yet distinct from, its small southern neighbor. I was as surprised as you to learn this. Gosh, it is nearly impossible to write about Canada without falling into tried and true clichés and jokes based on their supposed goofiness and imitation-nation image. But that is completely opposite of what I am trying to convey.

I went to see a documentary the other night on the Alberta oil sands. It was produced by Canadians, and I was surprised to find that the filmmakers went beyond the customary anti-Americanism and actually expressed a clearly pro-Canadian stance, bordering on jingoism. That is not something I would expect from a slightly goofy nation of wanna-be American posers.


*Sometimes, a thesaurus is just what a writer needs.